Sunday, April 11, 2010

What do you DO?

This question haunts me for many reasons. Most of the below conversations are factual, the internal monologue that I have given other people are not, it just goes to emphasises my neurotic nature.

Circa 2008-..Me= age 20.

*conversation dries up*'so....are you a student?'
Me: "Yep, I study worldwide famine solutions (read: International development)"

'What year?'

Me: 'First year'

This then either results in said person saying....
a) "Oh, i would have thought you were older than a first year"
 (subsequently making me think 'DAMMIT! ARE YOU SAYING I CAN'T PASS FOR 18??)

b) "oh, right."
 (making me think WHAT THE HELL? THEY THINK I'M 18? AM I THAT IMMATURE?






Circa 2010.....Me age 21 3\4

"So....youre a student then?" (which subsequently makes me think....Why would you assume I'M A STUDENT? is it because I look like I don't shower. Because I do. So there.)

Me: "No...I...er...work ...er...part time in an art shop'

"Oh so you have kids then?" (because obcviously thats the only reason for part time working, nothing to do with the jobs vortex that surrounds Leeds.......
I look like Ive had kids? Is it my baby bump? because that's the product of too much wine.)

Me: "er, No"

"But youre married, right?" (******* IMPORTANT NOTE ...most Christians believe in, aside from the bible, the doctrine that you must marry once you are no longer a student.)


Me: "er, No...I was engaged but not anymore"

*AWKWARD SILENCE* (In which i laugh heartily in my head for purposely making the other person feel guilty.




How to bring my age related complex into balance? Slather on the anti-wrinkle cream, pour vodka on my cornflakes...but also get myself a subscription to The Peoples Friend and a bag of werthers original for a dose of maturity.



2 comments:

sparkles said...

I have this problem too.

*Hi I'm 25

\Cool, so you work then, married, kids?

*erm, no at uni.

\oh right, post grad?

*no, first degree

\oh, so you finish this year?

*no, got another year.

\right, so what've you been doing all this time?

*sleeping

Paul Campy said...

Once you've made them guilty, then you can make them jealous about all the awesome stuff and travels you seem to have done before Leeds.

Pass the Worthers Originals.