'To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.' EE Cummings.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
5 ways I don't fit in.
1. I talk to animals. With farm animals I occasionaly try to warn them of their impending doom, but perhaps I should let ignorance be bliss.
2. I hate wearing shoes.And not just after 2am and 2many glasses of rose Trips to sainsburys, in the office.....beee free my feet.
3. I'll always choose to sit on the floor over a chair. Closer to the rats.
4. I think 'Who are you?' is an acceptable way to greet people
5. I don't care if people don't like the way I look, as long as I do:
I liked my peroxide blonde that made me looked about as natural as a tiger on the high street.
And I don't mind being a dark shade of orange. I feel exotic.
2. I hate wearing shoes.And not just after 2am and 2many glasses of rose Trips to sainsburys, in the office.....beee free my feet.
3. I'll always choose to sit on the floor over a chair. Closer to the rats.
4. I think 'Who are you?' is an acceptable way to greet people
5. I don't care if people don't like the way I look, as long as I do:
I liked my peroxide blonde that made me looked about as natural as a tiger on the high street.
And I don't mind being a dark shade of orange. I feel exotic.
Thursday, June 02, 2011
What I love most about Leeds.....
...The wide selection of buskers: bollywood-style guitar player, guy doing chris brown impersonations, guy playing the drums on trash, middle eastern trumpet quartet, and the man with the singing dog. something for everyone.
Apparently Leeds is the only place in UK where you do not need a liscense to busk. Shrug.
Oh and Madge from neighbours, Chris Moyles and The Kasier Chiefs can be spotted (I served a Kaiser Chief at work once. Dunno which one)
Sunday, June 27, 2010
10 reasons why dejected England fans should now be supporting Ghana with all their heart and flag.
1.I was supporting Ghana from the start, and I am wise. Follow in my ways.
2. Seriously, they believe they can win it for Africa, and their united pride as a nation is awesome. If there was only one team left in Europe, I highly doubt, to give a poignant example, France and England will be supporting Germany if Spain leave Germany the only team remaining in the football.
3. Is there another team with any major link to England/Britain left in the tournament? No. Ghana have the link. Former colony, LOVE the Queen. Therefore it makes historical and political sense sense to support them. Plus, one might argue the British weren't always incredibly nice to the country in colonial times, so It'd be a nice peace offering. They are the most warm welcoming people, especially to the English, despite the constant reminders of the legacies of slavery and colonial exploitation in their land, its a massive lesson in forgiveness.
4.It would really suck if we lost our world cup spirit in wake of the Ger-turmoil. I'm not gonna lie, it bought a massive lump to my throat when I saw some Japanese guys crying at the end of the match, and almost 'kissing their England shirts goodbye' but I'm sure we can still enjoy it, right? It's football!! And the wise choice is to support Ghana.
5. Their faith as a team is inspiring, they genuinely believe its God's grace that's got them this far.
6. Having said that, they are a little bit immodest, but I think its a positive thing. To quote Asamoah Gyan: "I asked God to make me the greatest striker in the world, and he did".
A little far off the mark maybe, but couldn't we all do with a dose of that kind of self confidence?!
7. Celebration at a Ghanaian foot ball game is awesome. Celebration after a Ghana game, win or lose, is awesome. To quote Marcel Desailly (ITV Commentator from Ghana)
"I can imagine now, there will be dancing, and beer, and singing, and there will be a goat just there *points* "
8.They are in the quarter finals, i.e still in the contest.
9.They play as a team, not as a random bunch of individuals. I imagine they would consider each other brothers on and off the pitch, and it shows in the game, again, win or lose.
10. THEY KNOW THEIR NATIONAL ANTHEM!
11.They play as if it means something to them personally. And probably get paid shockingly less than the England team,whilst playing extortionately better. As the BBC pointed out, the England team: 'Will probably be banging in 3 goals a match like its no effort when the premier league starts.' WHERE IS YOUR PRIDE in your job to represent your country?
12. Ghanaian football games are always entertaining! Scrappy, drama dives, praying on the pitch, yellow cards agogo, more gestures than Fabio Capello at a night club doing sign language. I'm eagerly anticipating a match in the African cup of nations when the entire 2 teams get red carded. Also, they are a rather attractive bunch.
OK, so that was 12. But, I have a point, seriously....wouldn't you rather look like this...
than like this?
*****With Massive Thanks to David P Wright, Rebecca Gathercole and
Jade L Beakhouse for their ideas.*****
2. Seriously, they believe they can win it for Africa, and their united pride as a nation is awesome. If there was only one team left in Europe, I highly doubt, to give a poignant example, France and England will be supporting Germany if Spain leave Germany the only team remaining in the football.
3. Is there another team with any major link to England/Britain left in the tournament? No. Ghana have the link. Former colony, LOVE the Queen. Therefore it makes historical and political sense sense to support them. Plus, one might argue the British weren't always incredibly nice to the country in colonial times, so It'd be a nice peace offering. They are the most warm welcoming people, especially to the English, despite the constant reminders of the legacies of slavery and colonial exploitation in their land, its a massive lesson in forgiveness.
4.It would really suck if we lost our world cup spirit in wake of the Ger-turmoil. I'm not gonna lie, it bought a massive lump to my throat when I saw some Japanese guys crying at the end of the match, and almost 'kissing their England shirts goodbye' but I'm sure we can still enjoy it, right? It's football!! And the wise choice is to support Ghana.
5. Their faith as a team is inspiring, they genuinely believe its God's grace that's got them this far.
6. Having said that, they are a little bit immodest, but I think its a positive thing. To quote Asamoah Gyan: "I asked God to make me the greatest striker in the world, and he did".
A little far off the mark maybe, but couldn't we all do with a dose of that kind of self confidence?!
7. Celebration at a Ghanaian foot ball game is awesome. Celebration after a Ghana game, win or lose, is awesome. To quote Marcel Desailly (ITV Commentator from Ghana)
"I can imagine now, there will be dancing, and beer, and singing, and there will be a goat just there *points* "
8.They are in the quarter finals, i.e still in the contest.
9.They play as a team, not as a random bunch of individuals. I imagine they would consider each other brothers on and off the pitch, and it shows in the game, again, win or lose.
10. THEY KNOW THEIR NATIONAL ANTHEM!
11.They play as if it means something to them personally. And probably get paid shockingly less than the England team,whilst playing extortionately better. As the BBC pointed out, the England team: 'Will probably be banging in 3 goals a match like its no effort when the premier league starts.' WHERE IS YOUR PRIDE in your job to represent your country?
12. Ghanaian football games are always entertaining! Scrappy, drama dives, praying on the pitch, yellow cards agogo, more gestures than Fabio Capello at a night club doing sign language. I'm eagerly anticipating a match in the African cup of nations when the entire 2 teams get red carded. Also, they are a rather attractive bunch.
OK, so that was 12. But, I have a point, seriously....wouldn't you rather look like this...
than like this?
*****With Massive Thanks to David P Wright, Rebecca Gathercole and
Jade L Beakhouse for their ideas.*****
Monday, June 14, 2010
I can only think of 2 reasons why life sucks right now....
.....so everything must be going swimmingly on average. However:
1)It's 3:28, and I'm sat up waiting for the police to come round on account of an attempted burglary at my dear abode about 15 minutes ago. The scary thing is I was due to move out tonight, and as my bedroom window was the 2nd port of call for their attempted entry, they might have just skulked in unnoticed. Am listening to Glee soundtrack and imagining rainbows and the like until the police arrive.
2)Yesterday, after frolicking in the park and playing basketball, I got on the bus. Whenever I get on a bus, It is guaranteed that the drunk,disheveled, mentally unstable bloke will accost me. Today, It went something like this:
*Bloke sits next to me*
"F****in hell, your nails are disgusting!! I CLEAN mine."
I would like to point out that my nails are not THAT dirty, and it must have taken some fairly close inspection for him to observe the feint, bohemian traces of dirt under my fingernails, which were only there due to park-frolicking and basketball twirling.
Man.
1)It's 3:28, and I'm sat up waiting for the police to come round on account of an attempted burglary at my dear abode about 15 minutes ago. The scary thing is I was due to move out tonight, and as my bedroom window was the 2nd port of call for their attempted entry, they might have just skulked in unnoticed. Am listening to Glee soundtrack and imagining rainbows and the like until the police arrive.
2)Yesterday, after frolicking in the park and playing basketball, I got on the bus. Whenever I get on a bus, It is guaranteed that the drunk,disheveled, mentally unstable bloke will accost me. Today, It went something like this:
*Bloke sits next to me*
"F****in hell, your nails are disgusting!! I CLEAN mine."
I would like to point out that my nails are not THAT dirty, and it must have taken some fairly close inspection for him to observe the feint, bohemian traces of dirt under my fingernails, which were only there due to park-frolicking and basketball twirling.
Man.
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Misfortunes: The International Years. Chapter 1: VIVE`BRASIL
Often in the process of working a 6 day week, I manage to find the time to daydream. Today, I found myself recounting previous travel mishaps, and wondering why I didn’t publicize them more. I know, everyone has funny, ‘This one time, in Africaaaaa, I like, drank water and it was SO not purified ’ stories.
Mine are more just a mockery of my general misfortune.
Chapter one: Vivé Brasil
I’ve always had a problem of needing to pee whilst on public transport. One time, in another very hot country, I almost didn’t go on a trip of a lifetime because I was so scared I’d pee myself on the 14 hour coach ride. Luckily there was one bathroom break on this occasion, and was sweating so much there was no need to pass water.
Ahem.
On the incident in question, I was traveling from Trancosco (a), to Caraíva (b), a coach trip of around 6 hours. Which, in somewhere the size of Brazil, is pretty much the equivalent of popping over the road to buy some toilet roll.
Not hard to not need the toilet on a journey of such relatively small proportions, or so one might think. We nearly missed the bus, (due to my obsession with ‘cheesebread’ and just HAVING-TO-GET-SOME-FOR-THE-JOURNEY), but after running along a dust track and some Portugues expletives (from the driver, not us) we boarded.
The problem with Cheesebread (bao de Quejo) is that
a) its addictive, probably on account of the salt
b) due to the salt content it cannot be consumed without liquid. Seriously, that stuff is powerful.
After 3 weeks in Amazon land, I had become a bit cocky and convinced myself my bladder had the super-powers of your average giraffe.
So alongside my cheesbread for the bus, I had purchased its very best liquid- friend, 2 cans of Cola tZero (no that’s not a mistype, portugues pronouncing).
My friend Josie fell asleep, and people came on and off the bus, and we went though what I can only assume was rainforest with INSANE hairpin bends… as the 'crow flies' the journey should have taken 25 mins.
Major crisis. After 2 hours, and 2 cans of Cola tZero, I unsurprisingly need the toilet. I try to compose myself, with thoughts such as
‘I am a strong, confident woman. My bladder does not control me.’
To no avail.
I considered asking the bus driver to stop so I could pee, but having upset him earlier I was afraid he would either drive off and leave me, or watch and laugh.
Time passed.
I had no strength left.
It had to be done.
The window was open….but there was no way I could bend that way/not be seen, plus, WHO does that?!
My friend was still asleep and the people behind/in front were occupied/asleep, with the exception of one guy who was definitely AAE (alive, alert, enthusiastic). Then, in an epic must-be-divine intervention, his stop came up, and he departed.
The plan? The plastic carrier bag that I had bought my cheesebread and Cola tZero in. Fortunately rural Brazil doesn’t seem to have cottoned on to the ‘putting holes in carrier bags so small children don’t suffocate’ extravaganza
So, without leaving my seat, waking my friend, drawing anyone’s attention, or, ahem, ‘spillage’, I did it..
I’m sorry Brazil. I love you and your people and your crazy long bus journeys sem banheiro.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Ich muss mein Pferd verkaufen
Those of you that know me well will know that my plans change often. As soon as I had found a job in Italia (my 1/2 motherland), I got one in Leeds, and decided to stay in the Northern Smoke. Its pretty sweet, Govt travel agent....Still framing pictures on a Saturday.
Though, working a 46 hour week, and being 'social' 5 nights a week has its disadvantages
a) my feet hurt. A LOT. solutions on a postcard please.
b) when I have down-time to myself I contract chronic boredom. When It got to the point that I was stalking my best friends- sisters-boyfriends friends on Facebook I decided it might be time to forcibly invent something to do, in the form of visiting same friend whilst revising to administer massage.
I always think ts polite, when calling a foreign country, to at least say "Good morning, Do you speak English please?' in the appropriate language. Like, if someone called you at work was was like 'Guten Morgen, Ich muss mein Pferd verkaufen' or even " Доброе утро, вы продаете сыром?" (that's Russian by the way, which i don't try to speak, as I cant read the pictures, but I do begin Russian-bound emails with "Доброе утро")
You'd be like.....
*nervous shuffle*
"....errrr, I don't think they're in the office today. or ever. please don't call back."
However one day I got a bit too big for my boots, and decided to expand from the above, to 'Hello, Please may I speak with reservations?' upon a call to Paris......
He was Scottish.
And I'm pretty sure I translated 'Reservations' wrongly.
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